I was looking some Facebook timeline memories yesterday and saw some pictures of myself from last Easter. I hardly recognize that person but as she’s holding on tight to my husband I can only assume it was me.
It’s hard to look at pictures from a year ago because that was very low point in my life. I was extremly overweight, angry, and in a word depressed. I hated to get my picture taken and yet friends continued to force me in front of the camera with them. Isn’t it amazing how when you’re feeing great you could be up for an all day photoshoot but when you’re feeling bad about yourself you’d prefer to play the role of photographer or just exit stage left?
I think about how hopeless it seemed to lose weight at the time because I had mastered the art of gaining it for so long. It wasn’t until a few week’s before my friend’s destination bachelorette party that something hit me. No not my love handles. Something inside just clicked and I knew that while I wasn’t going to lose all the weight I needed to before the trip I could at least get started and make a real effort to change my ways.
For the first time I was motivated not by getting thin but to get heathy. I think that’s why I had failed at this so many times before. I had a misguided goal. Being thin can seem unattainable at times because it’s a pretty small box to try and fit into. Whereas being healthy can mean a lot of things – healthy BMI, low blood pressure, low blood sugar, etc.
Maybe aspiring to make a change from the inside out is what is keeping me motivated to change my life and not just fit into a certain size. Hopefully this is the beginning of not just a healthier body but a healthy mind as well.
What makes you feel your best? Is it being a certain weight? Is it that great pair of skinny jeans that fit you like a glove? Is it getting a hug from a friend? I’d love to know what keeps you in high spirits. Leave your thoughts in he comments.