Sometimes eating has nothing to do with being hungry. Sometimes it fills a void that masquerades itself as hunger.
My mom raised me as a single parent. I think the fact that my biological father didn’t want me in his life kind of changed something in me that couldn’t be fixed growing up and even into adulthood. Something that couldn’t be fixed by having wonderful friendships, being a great athlete, or even by having a caring boyfriend who would later become my husband. There was something that food gave me that those other things couldn’t.
Loneliness comes from within. When I’m eating it can sometimes feel like whatever I’m putting in my body is going to the same place that has felt empty for such a long time. It’s a place that I don’t share with a lot of people as it’s not even something I fully understand myself. But in this very moment tears are beginning to hit my keyboard so I must be onto something, right?
I started this website because I wanted to share my story with you. I thought it would help me stay on track. I thought it could also help others share their stories too. I am realizing that being honest with you about my journey is actually helping me to work through some other things that I have avoided thinking about for awhile and for that I want to say thank you. Thank you for your words of encouragement that go beyond “you look great”. Thank you for privately sharing your stories with me. I’m starting to feel like I’m not alone which hopefully means you are too. Until next time.